this just in, don’t watch the take me to church video if you don’t want to be destroyed




nonstandardrepertoire:

crunchwater:

listen to my cute ass gay ass washing machine

WAIT THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH OK SO i work for someone who’s a major collector and performer of the Great American Songbook, and periodically i’ll hear this ringtone-sounding thing that sounds really really close to the melody of "I Could Have Danced All Night", but kind of rhythmically off, AND IT’S EXACTLY THE NOISE THIS WASHING MACHINE MAKES IF YOU ONLY TURN THE BLINKY KNOB TWICE




Me: Who's a good boy?
Dog: ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Me: YOU'RE A GOOD BOY!
Dog: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



daeneryus:

hot things to say during sex:

  • aw man i shot marvin in the face
  • silly caucasian girl likes to play with samurai swords
  • you got two jobs; kiss good, and make sure my hair don’t get wet
  • the d is silent
  • [faking Italian with a southern accent] bon jorno
  • BECAUSE IT’S SO MUCH FUN JAN



me: *owns 264 unread books*
me: *buys 17 new books*
me: *rereads harry potter*
1 hour ago   #meee  



But black pride isn't racist? — Anonymous

exposing-racists:

nah because we don’t have a history of chanting and promoting “black pride” while lynching your people




princesshoneycunt:

ed-pool:

"I want my father back, you son of a bitch"

"And for a moment, he was alive. And my fairy tale came true."




omgtsn:

a masterpost




i am literally the queen of finagling my way into classes i’m not technically (or realistically) prepared for